5 Fav's

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Chicago Fire

The show stirs my hometown pride, has great plot and characters, keeps you on the edge of your seat, and makes me cry all the time.  Oh and now can I forget hot looking firelighters with good looking cops thrown in there now and than.... and I mean HOT.

Ok ok I will behave now.... or at least try

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Walking dead playing with emotions.  I will not give any spoilers but if you watch it you know what I am talking about and DANG just DANG.

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Decorating for Christmas

Last year was my first Christmas alone.  Despite everything saying I should I did not decorate or even have a tree till about 4 days before Christmas.  That was after my best friend who was also in the same boat convinced me it would help, and it did.  This year I am spending Christmas day with my awesome friends and my godson so I am not 100% alone but still battling some holiday blues.  The day after Thanksgiving I am looking forward to putting the tree and lights up and if I feel super adventurous maybe even some cookies.... maybe.

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This song

Jason Gray- Remind Me Who I AM

Mostly because it would not be a lie to say I am not going through a lot, and the stress of health, money running out, bills, and all that adult stuff was really starting to scare me.  I blubbered like a small child when I heard this on the radio because it was what I needed to help push back the darkness.

-5-

This GIF... that made me laugh way way to hard

and I still cannot stare at it too long without laughing

I hope you all have a most wonderful Turkey day and if you are doing that crazy thing called black friday BE SAFE!

Sunday Funnies

Welcome to the very beloved Sunday funnies.  As always enjoy and if there is something your heart desires to see do not be afraid to ask!

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A kitten who has the flair for the dramatics

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A lame pun, because I love them so

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Insert nervous laughter now

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If I only knew this is how you trapped them as a child, maybe I could have gotten some sleep... what's that noise at 3am??  Just the demon Furby your tried hiding under your bed.

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This one just makes me smile

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Let's be honest... this is how I will parent

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And lastly in honor of grad old Turkey day coming up

The Wait is the Hardest Part

Now I have no desire to shoot anything, although with this past two weeks it would have been some great stress relief...  If you read my last post, or have heard from me in person you would know that I just went through a bunch of scan all because I started to have daily headaches.  2 MRI's a CT scan and a bunch of x-rays later I only a bit more than I knew about two weeks ago.  I have a hole in my skull, and a rather large one that my brain is pushing through and we now know also down.  What took the doctor so darn long to get back to me was that it looked like I some extensive work done on my skull but my medical records show I have not.  I know I have not and when I grilled family member they know I have not, so that leads to one thing.  

ALIENS!

Only joking, but when my brother and then a very close friend threw that out their I laughed really really hard.

The next step is that I have finally been referred to a neurosurgeon, and for anxiety sake I pray they call soon.... or else I will be calling to bug them and you can ask my doctors office I am a prescient little bugger.  My doctor said that when they discover things like this it is most of the time by accident and the person has no symptoms and they just monitor it, but because I have having so many heath issues because I should prepare myself to hear the word "surgery", most likely upon the first visit.  

That is all I know for now, but I promise for updates when I know them.  I would like to thank everyone for the awesome prayer and support and don't forget to be awesome. 

Sunday Funnies (at long last)

And we are back, with another animal addition because how can silly animal not but a smile on your face?

Numero Uno brings us a horse who shows us the deepest desire of his heart

Number two is the Thumper of duck, or he doing his own rendition of Happy Feet.

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If only Henry the 8th wives could do this trick

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CATZ the Musical now on Ice!

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GULLZILLA!

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And they say animals have no personalities 

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And this last one needs no words.....

It's a Head Thing

A little over a month ago I started having daily headaches.  They started to get worse, and worse and then got it got to the point to where nothing I had at home was helping so I called the doctor.  He was a little concerned that I had never suffered from "migraines" before and now all of a sudden was, but assured me that he knew some medicine that would help and if not there are steps we can take to figure out what was going on.  I was hopeful and wrote it off as I am just having migraines, however a week went by and by head still was hurting, two weeks and my head still hurt, so I called the doctor up again.  When I meet with him he was surprised that the medicine was not working and even more surprised that when I upped the dose my head was worse so he ordered an MRI.  I was not to worried up until this point, but in fact even when he said he would be checking for tumors I was not worried.... that was until my blood work can back with some concerns, thats when reality hit that everything may not be ok and the anxiety went through the roof.  MRI machines give me claustrophobia as well so I was a royal mess.  The test itself went fine so then of corse I had the joy of the waiting game. Can I say WAITING IS THE WORST PART!!! ? What made it worse was knowing the doctor had the results but then had another doctor look at them, and then had them again but was going over them with a team of doctors.  I think it was the most high anxiety week of my life, but finally today I got the call from the doctor.  By this point I knew the news was not going to be good, and when the I heard the doctors voice on the other end of the phone I definitely knew it was not good.

The Good

1. It's not cancer

2. As far as they can tell it is not a tumor on the brain

The bad

1. I have a hole in my skull

2. My brian is exposed and unprotected is pushing through that hole

So what does that mean??  Right now it means more test.  Tomorrow is a CT and neck x-rays and Friday is another lovely MRI, this time of my neck.  They need tp A. Check for bone tumors, and B. check fluid levels on the brain.  Is levels are too high or to low I will need a shunt put in as well as I am assuming the hole in my skull fixed the brain put backed where it belongs.  This will be done by a neurosurgeon.  When I do not know, we are still in the testing, "is too much/ not enough fluid, how big is this hole?" stage.  

How you can help?  Pray and just be there.  Today two friends pulled me aside and prayed over me and that was awesome and unexpected and meant so much.  Forgive my emotional reckness that may/ has already happen.  Ask "how are you today?"  and let me talk about it without saying "oh its Gods plan" ect.  Talking is the way I deal with stuff even if it is saying I am getting a brain transplant or something crazy like that.  You do not have to do something crazy to show support but those people who called today, or made me laugh, or just spent time by my side really helped make today not just a hey you found out you need brain surgery today day.  

As I told someone earlier knowing is half the battle, so I am 50% there and I trust my doctor but more importantly that God has it all under control.  

Sunday Funnies

What 2 posts in one week?   *say fallow with head bob*  Gurl people are going to being to expect things of you.  

However don't get to excited just yet, but do read and have a good laugh at the fallowing.  You do however get about a months worth of funnies, because I know the five of you that read this have missed them, and you are all quite worth it.

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I am pretty sure the owner will never know who did it...

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Is this even possible??? Kudos to the creative writing.

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My current cover letter

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Does this really need an explanation?

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Once again CATS ARE EVIL

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The answered request of cute babies, and what is better than babies eating Lemons??

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No one had ever claimed racoons to be the smartest theif

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I am sure he is making his father proud and his mother roll her eyes.

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Who is not making fun of the government right now?

And finally in honor of The Walking Dead starting tonight

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(spoiler below picture)

R.B.I. Dale, thanks for always showing the group humanity and always reminding Rick he still has it even when you are gone.

Because it Mattered

Ok so maybe it was like a year ago, but about 3 months ago I decided to step further into this.  To let myself be happy even though my current situation is well lets be honest...crappy. To be ok with the fact that I am done with religious life and to accept the person my past has made me.  For far too long I kept it as two separate things because I am not the same person I was three years ago, in fact I was scared of that person.  I went from being a depressed, timid, quiet, introvert.  To more of an extrovert who speaks there mind and goes after conflict.  I went from a person who just went with it so I was not noticed, to more of a maverick  because I have had the freedom to be who I was indented to be (Lord help those who have stuck with me through this change).  But my past that was not something that I had fully accepted into my life because I don't think I was ready but now (being past few months) as John Green so eloquently puts it....

And that is ok, in fact it's ok if it always hurts in some aspects because I have finally come to the conclusion that some things you can never forget and leave behind, but you can accept and go one.   There will be hurt and bad and pain but more importantly there will also always be light, and one to turn to at the end of the day who understand its all.